Maintaining Appearances
Progression
Once earning stabilises identity, perception begins to matter.
What began as growth
became consistency.
What became consistency
became expectation.
And expectation quietly turns into image.
Not because you are false but because you are seen.
The Shift
At this stage, your life is no longer interpreted only by what you do,
but by what people believe you represent.
You are no longer just becoming -
you are being observed.
People have watched you grow.
Achieve.
Build.
Lead.
And when all people have ever known is your forward motion,
you may not know any other way to exist.
The Split
This is where a subtle divide can form:
The inner life - private, pressured, often tired
The outer presentation - capable, coherent, dependable
Not a lie.
A maintenance.
You are not pretending.
You are curating.
You learn how to speak with confidence
even when uncertainty is present.
You learn how to hold posture
even when weight increases.
You learn how to act energetically
even though you are battling broken sleep.
You learn how to wear the mask
with expertise -
sometimes through many years of training.
The Role You Now Carry
You may speak in front of:
Team members
Other leaders
Public audiences
Directors
C‑Suite peers
Entrepreneurs
Investors
Your name and title now precede you.
Your reputation enters the room before you do.
There is credibility to maintain.
Stability to project.
Continuity to protect.
And the higher you climb,
the more people depend on you remaining intact.
The Quiet Fear
This is not driven by pride -
but by responsibility.
The thoughts may never be spoken, but they surface:
What if I lost it all?
What if I can’t sustain this?
How long can I keep holding this together?
When can I stop building and growing?
People respect you.
Look up to you.
Listen to you.
Learn from you.
So you keep delivering -
not because you want applause,
but because you don’t know what would happen if you didn’t.
The Cost
The very idea of vulnerability with your peers
can feel terrifying.
Not because they would reject you -
but because the image might fracture.
And once you are known for coherence,
disruption feels dangerous.
So the image is maintained.
Polished.
Protected.
Quietly.
The Mask
This is not hypocrisy.
It is management.
You are not living a lie.
You are sustaining a version of yourself
that others have learned to rely on.
And the unsettling question beneath it all is not:
“Who am I pretending to be?”
But:
“Who am I allowed to be now that so many are watching?”
