Borrowed Purpose

Some lives look chosen
but were never actually chosen.

They were assembled.

Not through ambition.
Not through rebellion.
But through what worked.

You responded well.
You were capable, reliable, adaptable.
You learned - often without realising - what brought approval, stability, momentum.

So direction formed.
Not through discernment,
but through reinforcement.

No one told you who to be.
Life simply rewarded a version of you,
and you stepped fully into it.

Borrowed purpose does not feel false.

It feels functional.

It provides structure.
It earns trust.
It creates a life that makes sense - to others, and often to you.

That is why it goes unquestioned for so long.

Nothing feels wrong.

Until something stops settling.

Borrowed purpose is rarely exposed by failure.
It is usually exposed by success.

When the path keeps opening
but the inner life grows quieter.

When productivity no longer brings peace.
When competence no longer clarifies direction.

The question is no longer,
“Why isn’t this working?”
but,
“Why doesn’t this feel true anymore?”

What makes borrowed purpose difficult to recognise
is that it was never consciously taken.

It was absorbed.

Through what others needed.
Through what you were praised for.
Through what made you feel safe to belong.

You didn’t choose a calling.
You adapted into a role.

And adaptation, when rewarded,
can feel indistinguishable from purpose.

This is not an accusation.
It is an invitation.

To notice that what worked
may not be what was yours.

Because purpose does not emerge
from what you became good at.

It emerges from who you are
when nothing is required of you.

And that can only surface
when borrowed purpose is gently laid down.